things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever
change the color used to highlight text on your laptop
move the pictures on your wall
stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all
slightly vary your commute, even just by one street
change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed
drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real
shower with the lights off, without music
buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room
start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing
wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night
listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015
Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!
The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!
This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!
ITS BACK!!!!!
god i fucking love the quote “dont turn yourself into a sad zoo animal” it has really inspired me!
One of my favourite mundane weirdnesses about Edinburgh is that we set the big clock visible approaching the station to be 3 minutes fast to make sure people are on time for their trains. My Favourite mundane weirdness of Edinburgh is that we check this by firing a cannon.
Sorry, a cannon?
Every day but Sunday :)
@calamitys-child I hope you don’t mind me pulling your tags out for posterity
Wait, is the cannon set to Big Clock Time or Actual Time?
Cannon set to real time, big clock check themselves against it to make sure they’re just slightly ahead! And it fires blank, though I worked out the range of it once and figured out if we ever loaded it I could put a hole in my mate’s roof
Can’t believe the time check is the same as Super Mario clearing a level.
Me every day at the Edinburgh time check: “Looks like it’s cannonically one o’ clock.”
Here’s yet another creature to add to your roster of dark Christmas characters: the Yule Goat.
The Yule Goat was a Nordic tradition where a guy dressed as a goat would barge into people’s houses during the Christmas feast and be as unpleasant as possible. Sometimes he’d just make a lot of noise, sometimes he’d tell raunchy stories with a lot of faul language, but he’d also tell unpleasant truths about the people in the house.
To make him stop people had to give him food or other treats and it was believed he’d take all the bad things with him when he left the house so people could enter the new year free of last year’s burdens, almost as a sort of scapegoat except he WANTED your sins/food.
Today the only Yule Goats you’re likely to see are ones made of straw.
“Yule King . The Yule or Holly King, by Michael Kerbow. The Yule or Holly King is an ancient holiday figure also known as the Yule Spirit, or Winter King.”
The existence of the winter solstice is a great thing in principle because misery really is easier to bear when you know for a fact that it won’t last forever, but the fact that it’s on a precise timetable makes it weird. Knowing that it’s going to keep on getting steadily worse for exactly nine days and fourteen hours and not a moment longer creates some strange behavioural incentives, is what I mean to say.
We can joke all we like about how weird this or that midwinter tradition is, but sitting here clockwatching the turning of the fucking heavens, I get it. Putting a horse skull on top of your head and running around randomly challenging your neighbours to rap battles until they give you free booze to make you go away is a completely rational response.
My work boots are the most expensive shoes I’ve ever owned.
Also the most comfortable. I chose them after trying on several different brands and comparing lifespan vs usage vs comfort - I needed them for a physically demanding job, not the weekend hiking trails. I could have easily chosen cheaper boots that would have lasted long enough to be worth their low price, but I know the Sam Vimes Boot Theory and knew weaker, less comfortable boots would make my life harder in the long run.
So when the outside edge of the heel started wearing down after three years of heavy use I went to the shop I got them from and said “hey this is a common problem for me with how I walk but now it’s affecting my ankles and knees and I don’t wanna have to buy a new pair, is there a way to fix this?”
The salesman at this very fancy upscale boot store said “oh yeah, there’s a shoe repair place that can give you some heel guards - it’ll keep the rubber from wearing out.”
So at 8am this morning right after my 9hr shift ends I went to the shoe repair shop and it is the most hole-in-the-wall, is-this-a-real-business-or-a-mafia-front, am-I-gonna-get-shot tiny cinder block cube I’ve ever seen in my life. I grew up plenty poor and love me a good hole-in-the-wall business, but going from upscale store to this cash-only repair shop gave me whiplash. Wasn’t expecting this when a guy who wears three piece suits to sell boots said it’s the best place to go.
The skinny kid behind the counter looks somehow 16 and 25 at the same time, but when I tell him this place was recommended he smiles and says to hand over my boots. I hand him the vaguely warm foot-smelling boots, and stand in my socks in the 3’ square entryway surrounded by every color leather polish you could buy and watch as he turns my boots around in his hands, sizes up a crescent moon bits of plastic, and unceremoniously hammers tiny nails through them before handing them back.
The heels are perfectly level again. I can walk without almost rolling my ankles. They don’t clack loudly on the pavement or feel different. This is gonna fix my knee pain. It cost $10.
This kid had every tool he needed within arms reach, worked fast and smoothly, I was in and out the door in less than 8 minutes, and it only cost $10.
I didn’t think anything could cost only $10 anymore. I’m so used to hyperinflation prices I was spiritually thrown back to the 1400’s visiting the cobbler in town square. This kid might have been that cobbler and just decided to never die.
I’m still reeling from the whiplash, and gobsmacked at the price, and thrilled I didn’t have to go buy new, worse work boots (cuz I don’t have that kind of money for a second pair, I’m expecting these ones to last a decade) and it feels like I just experienced one of the rare little chunks of magic that floats around our world.
